I am a middle child. I can boast many of its finer characteristics, such as attention seeking, strong will and a low level resentment towards my siblings and their superiority in birth chronology.
I am different to my siblings. They are different to each other and yet possess similar abilities to do well at school and never get in too much trouble. These are things I didn’t do so well at. But it’s okay, I’m creative (not always meant in a complimentary way).
DD is my second born, but as soon as she came into our lives I knew she’d be a middle child someday. I knew she had the feist and pizzazz to own it. She is a thousand kinds of fabulous and a massive pain in the arse. My Dad has described her as “A mini you. Actually, no, you on steroids.”
She came second in line, but achieved so many firsts for us. She quickly overtook RD, and made my mind boggle at how quickly she grew and changed. Each time this came with a little bittersweet taste but we revelled in the normality.
For DD, her understanding of her big brother went against her understanding of size and time. By 18 months she was bigger than him, and began to help us teach him. Although the time she tried to get him to sit up by pulling on his gastrostomy tube was definitely an unorthodox method.
She was too young to remember that she was due to be a middle sister before. I still often wonder what my other little girl, Tiny, would have been. What whispered secrets and games they would have invented, just three years between them. Whether she would have been such a force of nature, or allowed her big sister to lead the way.
The bookends to DD’s middleness don’t match. We lost and gained in one fell swoop. More than that, its difficult to explain, and for DD to grasp where she sits between her brothers. It’s something that she’ll no doubt find difficult to articulate as she grows up too.
In less than a month she starts school. Like her mother, she’s not backwards in coming forwards. She will answer questions or talk about RD with a fierce honesty. She is proud as punch about BD whilst stealthily trying to break his arm.
I suppose, just like a classic middle child.
But you DD, whilst classic, are extraordinary to your Dad and I. Our constant. Our apex.